Archive for Playland Park

St. Lucifer’s Haunted Asylum, 13 Feet Under Form Formidable Double Feature

Posted in 2014, Review, St. Lucifer's with tags , , , , on July 5, 2015 by bluefall8

We rolled into the parking lot of Playland Park accompanied by an encroaching frost, but winter’s icy grip hadn’t discouraged thrill seekers who were lined up outside St. Lucifer’s Haunted Asylum. It was a heart-warming sight and the shot in the arm John and I needed in our quest for a record-setting night of fright.

While we waited in line we were delighted by a gruesome twosome who entertained guests with mild jump scares and a dash of humor. The first character was a sizable man in overalls and a cowboy hat and suffered from a curious condition in which a hog’s head protruded from his stomach. His cohort was a brightly dressed clown who carried with him a ventriloquist dummy with a punk rock style. The little guy sported multi-colored, wildly spiked hair, a vest, camouflage pants and a pair of black Chuck’s. His face too was painted as a clown. It was clear that these guys loved to mess with customers but to their credit they obliged any time somebody asked them to pose for a picture including yours truly.

Through my own set of Chuck’s my toes grew numb and after a short but pleasant conversation with the owner of the joint, John and I were admitted to St. Lucifer’s Haunted Asylum.

lucifers

Our journey into the madhouse known as St. Lucifer’s began in a box — an elevator to be precise, but this was no ordinary elevator. Even by haunted house standards this condemned transporter may be unique; fitted as it was with a peculiar sound system and one heart-pumping surprise. St. Lucifer’s spin on the so called Hellivator is an excellent way to send customers into the dark and served as one of the highlights of our experience.

Once free from the wild ride we pounded the halls of the haunted asylum and found that a slimy layer of frost had coated the floor throughout St. Lucifer’s. The slippery hallways and bone-chilling air created something of a surreal atmosphere; almost as if we had witnessed the ghost of the haunt season. The conditions put an odd thought into my head, that perhaps we weren’t allowed to be there, as if we had trespassed. Yeah, an early blast of winter will do some strange things to the mind of a hardcore haunter.

Determined not to be the next helpless souls permanently admitted to St. Lucifer’s and with a hearty fire that burned in our hearts we mustered the courage to forge ahead where we enjoyed an infinity hall created with the aid of light and mirrors and also appreciated a length of wall from which jutted numerous pairs of legs — storage for those who had expired within the confines of the haunted asylum.

It was obvious that the weather had sapped a lot of energy from the cast. Everyone gave an honest effort but it seemed the edge was off the performance and I couldn’t fault them because it was that cold. However, true to the spirit of the haunt season, there were those with thicker hides who dug down deep and delivered. There was a busty nurse who earned our respect simply because she wore a skimpy outfit in such conditions. There was also a short orderly who offered us some medication from her metallic tray and as we would find out, this particular pill could be administered rectally. Last but not least, there was Jimmy an unseen specter who engaged us in a spine-tingling game of hide-n-seek before we escaped St. Lucifer’s by way of an uber-tight womb of doom.

Rating: 3.25 stars

13feetunder

The wait for 13 Feet Under was much shorter and for that we were thankful. An armed guard decked out in military gear briefed us on the situation inside the area we were about to enter, but his instructions were cut short when the chained doors behind us began to sway from the weight of the infected that had amassed on the other side.

13 Feet Under utilized the concept of a military containment zone to further the story and drive the pace of the haunted attraction. It was a highly effective approach as it created an environment in which it was easy to suspend disbelief. We found ourselves actively slinking around passages in an attempt to conceal ourselves from the infected, varying our speed depending on the situation.

We came to a checkpoint near the halfway point of the attraction where another guard was stationed; in her left hand she held a chain. She rattled off a lot of information about the infected and how we should proceed if we planned to survive the ordeal but by attention was diverted by what was on the other end of the chain. A dark-haired infected full of sarcasm and a devil-may-care attitude grappled with the restraint and if I’m being completely honest, the diseased dame was making eyes at yours truly. I held up a gloved hand to test the veracity of the claims that were being made by the female soldier, besides I wasn’t so sure I didn’t want to be bitten by this particular infected as she possessed a dark allure. She locked eyes, leaned in slowly, bared her teeth and sunk them straight into my hand.

I was shocked and impressed and a little turned on (but not too turned on because it was freezing). She pulled back careful not to break eye contact, raised her eyebrows and flashed a devilish smirk. I turned to John and professed my disbelief as never before had a haunt actor taken the chomp test so far.

Stunned and more than a little enamored, John and I reluctantly trudged forward with my seemingly infected hand in tow. We ducked through open sewage pipes flush with grates that sent light from above streaming eerily through the slates. We rounded on a choke point and were intercepted by a wide-eyed survivor who advised us to halt for a moment before he noisily rushed us ahead. Before we had a chance to contemplate the need to hurry, a massive snake uncoiled from behind a wall and nearly took a bite of its own. In our haste we lost both the snake and the kind stranger.

In the distance, through a series of tall and winding wrought-iron fencing, we spotted a camper. Was it a safe haven from the infected? Was there medical personnel on hand that could deal with my love bite? Such thoughts were pushed aside when we were forced to participate in an impromptu game of red light/green light. In our delirium, we may have applied a loose interpretation of the rules and then fled like insects when the chatting of a chainsaw chewed through the frigid night air.

Rating: 4 stars

“She actually bit me…hard.” 

-My stunned reaction when the dark-haired dame called my bluff.

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Haunts Ablaze Despite Frosty Day of the Dead

Posted in News with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 3, 2014 by bluefall8

There was an undeniable chill in the air this past Saturday when John and I set out to do something never before accomplished in Horrorlust history — tour four separate locations in a single night. It was so cold in fact that the previous night, Halloween, had been witness to an accumulation of snow fall throughout the Flint area; John and I saw the after effects with our own eyes, but as haunters we accept that adverse weather conditions come with the territory.

Our first stop brought us to Exit 13 which has shot up our list of favorite places in recent years and our latest trip served only to strengthen that notion. The haunt underwent a massive overhaul since 2013 with new scenes, scares and characters. Our journey was a lengthy one highlighted by an endless string of scares that fused both fun and fright. We even encountered an honest to God amputee — to the best of my knowledge a Horrorlust first.

We came next to Playland Park in Grand Blanc which boasts the double bill of St. Lucifer’s and 13 Feet Under each Halloween season. I was delighted to find a Big Bertha arcade game inside the main building prior to entering any of the attractions. What’s that you say; you’re not familiar with Big Bertha? My friend, you haven’t lived! No childhood is complete without a round of Big Bertha! But I digress.

13 Feet Under featured a fun theme that drove the pace of the attraction which was punctuated with several unique design characteristics such as the area with sewer tunnels and grates. Here too we experienced another Horrorlust first when an actor bit me! That’s right, I was straight up chomped. No joke. When I was informed of a certain haunt hottie’s taste for flesh I offered up my gloved hand as a tempting morsel and she quickly obliged with a genuine bite! Now that is commitment to the scare.

St. Lucifer’s Haunted Asylum was fun as well but boy was it cold! Kudos to the actors who braved the elements to give patrons a show. It was so cold that the floors of St. Lucifer’s were coated with a thin layer of frost in many areas. How can the patients sleep at night under such conditions much less make suitable specimens for experimentation?!

Next, we zipped down to The Crypt and I’m proud to say that we were the final group through for the 2014 season. The Crypt employed a number of physically imposing actors who taunted us in the first half of the haunt and then allowed the animatronics and props to take over during the back half of this hodgepodge madhouse.

The haunt fates had indeed decided to smile upon us as we were left with plenty of time to reach Pontiac and The Realm of Darkness where we were mightily impressed by House of Nightmares 3D. The length had been majorly beefed up since last year, several areas featured artwork that erupted off of the walls and floor and the conclusion was a vibrant, technicolored display of violence from that ever-hostile harlequin, Bowbee!

The Realm of Darkness itself was yet another long and immersive trek marked by colorful characters and unsettling scenery. The remnants of Sinister were alive and kicking and thrilled us with their signature blend of humor and horror. A few highlights include John being serviced in a most peculiar way (yet another Horrorlust first!), myself being admonished for dishonoring a highly suspect lady and a unique display of sea legs by the inimitable Captain Sage. The level of detail here remained impressive and served as an excellent playground for the Sinister crew to ply their craft.

A big thank you to everybody who welcomed us into their respective house of horrors on Saturday night and in the process helped to create a memorable night in the history of Horrorlust.

As always, full reviews will be posted as they are completed.