Exit 13 Goes Bonkers

Posted in News with tags , , , , on January 17, 2017 by bluefall8

Last Friday, Exit 13 opened its doors for a little event known as Friday the 13th Massacre. But this was no ordinary night — well, there aren’t really ordinary nights at Exit 13. Suffice it to say, this production by the Monsters of Mt. Morris was extra special. You see, once the clock rolled past 10:30pm, patrons were made to sign a waiver upon entrance and every pair of wrists were fitted with restraints.

I made this journey with members of my Jaycees family, all of whom were involved with SIN Haunted House last fall. Anticipation was high and the bladder of more than one haunter in our group was fit to burst. Oh, not mine of course. But there were those in the group who had to make an extra pit stop before we were granted access to the haunted halls of Exit 13.  What’s that? You want names? No, I can’t do that. Not without being bribed anyway.

Once inside we experienced an outlandish landscape at a breakneck pace that left each of us covered in goop, theatrical blood and one supremely foul-smelling scent. There were actors around every corner who engaged us with enthusiasm, sarcasm and flat out abuse. It was wild and unpredictable, like the haunted house version of a choose-your-own-adventure book. Groups were broken up, folks were snatched up, heads were bagged.

Exit 13 has engaged in some interesting experiments over the course of several haunt seasons and in the process has become one of the best haunted attractions in the entire state. I suspect the tinkering has only just begun. A full review of this most raucous affair will be penned in the coming weeks.

The Day Will Come When You Won’t Be

Posted in News with tags , , , on November 7, 2016 by bluefall8

A long, strange haunt season came to an end Saturday morning when John and I returned from Cincinnati fresh off of a maiden voyage to The Dent Schoolhouse.

The Dent Schoolhouse turned out to be an ideal end to a Halloween season that brought winds of change. We reveled in the festive atmosphere outside the attraction where a haunters market of sorts had set up shop. Once inside The Dent Schoolhouse we were delighted by a Lights Out: Clown Edition event stuffed to the gills with an energized cast who delivered scares and laughs in spades. We enjoyed the inherent schoolhouse theme and fell in love with several signature scenes.

Now that the season has concluded, full reviews for all attractions shall follow. Halloween may be done for the masses but the torch is always lit here at Horrorlust and I still have plenty of goodies to unwrap from the latest season of screams.

Weird October

Posted in Preludes and Nocturnes with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 3, 2016 by bluefall8

It’s been several years since I visited so few haunted attractions during the month of October. The season started normal enough on Saturday, October 1 with a trio of stops at Shawhaven Haunted Farm, Awaken and Jackson’s Underworld. A pair of weeknight outings organized by the Michigan Haunters Association then brought me to Rotten Manor on Tuesday, October 11 and then Clio Manor and Exit 13 the following night.

Due to my budding love affair with SIN, an already streamlined haunt schedule was blown to bits by the second week of October. A return to the beloved Bloodview was dashed along with would-be maiden voyages to Haunted Elementary and Bates Haunted Saw Mill. Psycho Path was shutdown by the City of Flat Rock over safety concerns and was relegated to hosting a hayride — that put a serious damper on a night that included other nearby haunts, Woods of Darkness and Hush.

But perhaps it was all written in the stars, 2016 was a season of change. I found a second family at SIN and while I’m disappointed I didn’t get to visit a bunch of new and exciting places this fall, I don’t regret my decision to commit to SIN. It was a blast and I’ll cherish the memories.

The lack of trips did leave me hankering for some post Halloween fun and lo and behold an opportunity presented itself. Tomorrow night we’ll drive to Cincinnati for an overnight trip headlined by The Dent Schoolhouse where a most intriguing and timely event is set to take place — Lights Out: Clown Edition. If time permits we’ll then make a break for Middletown, home to Nightmare Manor and Land of Illusion Haunted Scream Park.

Hank Hymen: Virgin Slayer

Posted in News with tags , , , on October 29, 2016 by bluefall8

Hank Hymen: Virgin Slayer is a horror-comedy short released Halloween 2012 as part of an anthology special called Our Muddy Nightmare. The sketch, presented as a movie trailer, details the absurd case of a serial lothario Hank Hymen, who surfaces each October to seduce virgins — 31 of them to be exact. Hank is pursued by Detectives Rockford and Grant, a crime-fighting duo willing to color outside the lines of the law to settle a personal grudge.

Of Health & Havoc

Posted in SIN Chronicles with tags , , , , , , on October 28, 2016 by bluefall8

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Thursday, October 27, 2016

I was feeling under the weather when I arrived and didn’t plan to stay for the entire duration of the night. There was a gauntlet to be run over the next five nights and I had no desire to push myself to the limit on a Thursday and leave the tank empty for the homestretch of haunting that included Devil’s Night and Halloween. I hung around until quarter to nine and then bowed out for the night, but before I departed I was a part of a couple of memorable moments.

I must say that I’ve been mightily impressed with Danielle’s evolution during this haunt season. She’s been forced to wear a lot of different hats behind the scenes at SIN and that has made it difficult at times for her to go full throttle with her signature character, Dr. Giggles. But not on this night. Dr. Giggles was a mason jar of piss and vinegar. She stalked the front of the house with a renewed menace and brandished that machete like a professional hit man. The good doctor even held sinister conversations with a pumpkin of all things. I thought it was a nice, new wrinkle for the character.

Some time not long before I departed things took a wild, unexpected turn in the stomping grounds referred to only as haunt zero. Dr. Giggles cracked her machete against one of the metal poles that served as a barrier for the line, a moment later she knocked that pole to the floor. With demons of his own to exercise, Vermin turned and booted a second to the floor. Suddenly, the scene transformed into a high stakes tag team match; it was the penultimate moment. The gold was within our grasp and we knew it! We clawed down deep in search of that finishing maneuver — posts, ropes and buckets clattered to the floor as we kicked and swatted our way to a championship.

When the chaos had ended, haunt zero resembled the aftermath of a smash and grab at a jewelry store. The following morning another member of the haunted house crew shared a Creature from the Black Lagoon montage that had been edited for comic effect which summarily nailed the regard Dr. Giggles and Vermin held for haunt zero on this night.

Cinnamon & Sloth

Posted in SIN Chronicles with tags , , , , on October 25, 2016 by bluefall8

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Sunday, October 23, 2016

I entered SIN roughly a half an hour after open and changed into costume — Vermin’s trademark flannel and tattered jeans. Once at the front of the house I found that there were no customers so I worked my way through the maze and discovered that a core of regulars were absent for the evening. It bummed me out that many of my favorite people weren’t there but I believe in making the best of things so that’s what I set out to do.

It ended up being a slow, mostly uneventful night but one group comprised of local high school football players afforded Vermin an opportunity to bare his teeth. There were four of them but one refused to exit the back seat of a car and for that he was ridiculed. The other three entered the building, purchased tickets and entered haunt zero. The players attended Roosevelt which is the high school in Wyandotte for you non-locals, each sported hoodies or other paraphernalia that identified them as members of the varsity squad.

I had already heard that the football team had lost to Woodhaven on Friday night, but those boys didn’t know that — not yet anyway. I built them up for a minute, lured them in and then smacked them hard with an insult over the recent loss. I saw disappointment and, dare I say, shame in their eyes. It was a thing of beauty and it amused me greatly. If there’s one thing on this planet for which I have absolutely zero interest or need it is high school football.

The players entered the attraction but we would cross paths once more when fate intervened — in the form of a bathroom break of all things. I was needed to cover for the actor in the Bundy room so I decided to whip up something special for the student-athletes. I tapped into Vermin’s well of the anger and instructed one of the boys to sit in a chair while I delivered a haunting monologue about loss and regret. I told him to remember the moment and to recall it in a time of regret. I told him to understand it as truth and urged him to appreciate the gravity of regret. As the trio departed, the one would had sat in the chair stopped and said, “That’s actually really good advice.”

He was right, it was good advice. The kind of advice that only one who has known regret can deliver. I like to think that some day he’ll think back on that moment and be supremely weirded out.

Revelers & Mischief Makers

Posted in SIN Chronicles with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 24, 2016 by bluefall8

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Friday, October 21, 2016

I arrived at the house at 5pm — two full hours before the doors were set to open, but I needed to use that time wisely. My good friend, John, and I had planned to wire the house with five security cameras so that I could capture some video of the cast in action for use in the documentary about SIN. I stood in the parking lot and chatted with Grace while I waited for John to arrive.

CLOWN LIVES MATTER

John did arrive shortly but not before an unexpected arrival. A slim dude in full clown regalia walked purposely toward Grace and I. He had bright blue hair and a billy goat beard. In his right hand he clutched a piece of paper and in his left was a yellow, rubber chicken. How could this not be interesting? I have no fear of clowns. Nope, not even with the recent spat of clown related strangeness that has taken place across the country. I actually find the clown archetype a fascinating character study. What does creep me out, you ask? Dolls, man. Dolls are unnatural, evil little posers possessed by the worst kind of malice. Fuck those guys.

But back to the clown. Grace and I stared silently at the approaching stranger who stopped at a distance just outside of my personal bubble and asked for the person in charge. Hey, at least this clown was direct. Having just arrived myself, I wasn’t sure who was even inside the house yet. The clown expressed an interest in working at the haunted house and it turned out that the piece of paper that he held to his heart was the waiver form required to work at the Jaycees Haunted House. Unsure who to direct him too and somewhat bemused by the whole encounter I asked, “You got a name, clown?”

It turned out that he did have a name. It was Adam. The clown’s name was Adam.

John had arrived with the hardware so he, Grace and I made our way inside the haunted house with a clown named Adam in tow. After a bit of searching, I located Danielle inside of the ticket booth and explained the impromptu meeting with Adam the Clown. She looked at me skeptically, even incredulously, and said, “Are you serious?” I was serious and so was Adam the Clown. He did have his form filled out after all. The initial weirdness faded and Adam was welcomed into the fold as the latest edition to the SIN family; he worked the clown hall and proved an enthusiastic, competent scareactor.

ADVENTURES IN VOYEURISM

With Clowngate in the rear view mirror, John and I set about the task of installing a series of security cameras throughout SIN — a process that was expedited by the aforementioned Danielle. Thanks, Danny! It required the better part of an hour to install all of the cameras but when we were done John was stationed in the back of the building with a live feed of all of the activity in the following rooms: Ripper, Clown Hall, Manson, Holmes and Gein. John just finished converting all of the video to a user-friendly format so I haven’t yet screened any of it but he did report the existence of quality reactions, most notably from inside the H.H. Holmes room. Way to be, Gracie!

The cameras did cause a few hiccups through the night but nothing that caused too much of a headache. The one stationed above the clown hall lost power which was an easy, quick fix. More challenging was the camera inside Ripper’s White Chapel District that had some how come loose from the mount and was found dangling by a cable. That required a fair amount of attention as I crawled about the floor in an attempt to locate the screw that secured the camera to the mount. I found it and dropped it three times; much profanity ensued.

A couple of times I had to retreat to the space connecting Ripper and Borden because groups were coming through the attraction. I considered exiting to the back of the house through Borden but then realized I was still holding the drill I was attempting to fix the camera with, so I decided to improvise and use the power tool to my advantage. When patrons exited Ripper I muttered gibberish, tugged at my hair and brandished the drill in a threatening manner. It did the trick until I was able to fix that troublesome camera.

COME ALL YE CHILDREN

Every third Friday of the month, downtown Wyandotte is host to a special event and on this day a parade of costumed revelers descended onto Biddle for trunk r’ treat. On the plus side, the occasion provided us a built-in audience albeit one that skewed considerably younger than the usual target audience for a haunted attraction. However, in order to safely organize the event, Biddle Avenue had been blocked off at Eureka and Oak. Naturally, this would strangle off any exposure SIN would ordinarily get from passing vehicles. In the end it was a fairly steady night and the trade off may very well have been a wash.

DRUNKEN SHENANIGANS

The night concluded with a visit from a lively group whose members ranged from buzzed to severely intoxicated. One fellow seemed friendly enough but he was hammered and as Mr. Sea Legs was already bumping chests with Dr. Giggles, I thought he might prove an issue so I immediately confronted him. He slurred that his name was Chris. It was his birthday. He was from Lincoln Park. “Well, hello Ch-ch-ch-ch-chris,” I mocked. His friends howled with laughter as a couple of them propped him up. I insulted his drunken state and his hometown (which is actually my hometown for those interested).

As nicely as I could and while still in character I told Chris that his intoxicated state made his behavior suspect and that I wouldn’t tolerate any mistreatment of my brothers and sisters. He didn’t seem like a bad guy, he was just drunk as all hell. I followed the group through the entire house, lurking in the shadows. Chris popped a squat in a few rooms and did agitate a few workers but he never harmed any one or got out of control. He eventually gathered his wits and staggered to the next room until his spaghetti legs carried him out of SIN.