Wanted Dead or Alive: The Freak’s Show, Deadwood Forest Lasso Victims at The Bone Yard

Logo2014In terms of weather it wasn’t an ideal night to tour The Bone Yard which featured four haunted attractions, three of which were located outdoors. But we decided to brave the elements and were soon headed in the direction of Deadwood Forest. We would later discover that we had taken a wrong turn and bypassed Scarecrow Hollow which is now the first stop at The Bone Yard. Luckily, we happened upon Randy (Bone Yard head honcho) who pointed us in the right direction before we departed. But at the time we were unaware of our foible and strode headlong to the gates of Deadwood Forest.

DeadwoodForrestOLD WEST GHOST TOWN

Deadwood Forest is an ideal setting for a ghost town and appropriately sported a series of sizable structures that fit the old west theme. My only wish was that the various buildings were incorporated more thoroughly into the attraction; for the most part guests stick to the path while the intriguing wooden store fronts loom intermittently on either side of the trail.

The Lucky Saloon in particular would’ve made for an ideal scene for substantial interaction — perhaps a gun fight were staged or a buxom wench attempted to woe your party into an illegal game of cards? Absent such immersion and with a scarcity of live bodies, much of what we saw in Deadwood Forest was solely scenery and very good scenery at that. Just beyond the Lucky Saloon a corpse swung from the hangman’s noose.

The quiet ghost town did offer a few solid startle scares by way of chainsaw and one falling ceiling that crashed loudly just above our heads. We experienced a surreal moment while we traversed a swath of forest bathed in eerie blue ovals that resembled peacock eyes. Later, we squeezed through a narrow cave passage.

There was also an excellent junkyard scene near the end of Deadwood Forest where a torso had been roasted on a spit. Not far from there a snarling creature had contorted its body into a back bend and dashed toward us on all fours — perhaps he was saving the charred remains over the grill for a midnight snack.

Rating: 3 stars

route666ROUTE 666 IN SEARCH OF EVIL

We emerged from Deadwood Forest and walked a short way into the corn where we found a gathering of people around a bonfire. We were almost immediately loaded onto a wagon with high, metal framework on either side. It was a cool look and different than any other wagon I’d previously ridden.

The hayride featured very few actors although one strange ghoul who boarded the wagon did serve up some laughs when he oddly panhandled for food. There was a trailer scene with potential as well as a lone foreboding statue that put me in mind of the grotesque idol from The Shrine.

I can appreciate that The Boneyard offered an alternative to walking the distance to the next attraction and I understand that, as Randy explained the hayride was missing a key component, but Route 666 was abbreviated for a standard hayride and failed to engage those aboard.

Rating: 1.25 stars

theFreakShowTHE FREAK’S SHOW A GRAB BAG OF SIGHTS & SOUNDS

As we stood at the threshold for The Freak’s Show there was talk of pickled punks and the potential existence of a woman with the rare condition of a double uterus — never let anybody tell you that the person who acts as gatekeeper isn’t a vital part of the haunted attraction.

The Freak’s Show, The Bone Yard’s signature attraction, was home to a large, vocal cast who relied on jump scares and the occasional use of profanity to elicit screams. The halls of The Freak’s Show were filled with laser lights, a haunted photograph that appeared to be alive and one vibrating section of floor; we were twisted and turned in every direction.

The haunt was superbly detailed and had enough eye candy to induce an instant sugar coma — there was a doll room with a message scrawled on a dusty mirror, a rotten Christmas scene and elsewhere a carnival food vendor who had corn dogs gouged into his eye sockets!

We were made to crawl through a miniature womb of doom, pursued by a fat, mute dolly boy and blasted with some sort of fanciful air canon. There was even a clown who convinced one guest to enter a closet only to make a cheap crack about his sexuality once said guest had complied.

The actors did suffer from a creativity deficit where responses were concerned but balanced that with otherwise active, enthused performances. The Freak’s Show was an odd jumble of scenes at times but to its credit each area was highly decorated and not without some gag or scare. It was an assault on the senses and with some fine tuning can be better yet.

Rating: 3.25 stars

SINFUL SCARECROW HOLLOW

Scarecrow Hollow began with the whispered suggestion of a game — The Bone Yard Game. It was a point that I pondered as we pounded the dirt beneath our feet, my idle thoughts were soon interrupted when a scarecrow sprung to life and jumped from a wooden post.

Scarecrow Hollow did possess a solid amount of actors but few offered substantial interaction while most uttered forgettable one-liners. We did enjoy the hidden creep who amused us with a Yogi Bear routine, the demon too who patrolled the so-called Devil’s Lair put forth a fair performance. However, there would be no further mention of the tantalizing Bone Yard Game.

I regret that we failed to tour Scarecrow Hollow first as was intended — this attraction is not the closer and would’ve certainly serve best as opening act. Stupid wrong turn.

Rating: 1.75 stars

It has been my experience that bad weather and haunted attractions don’t mix well and that is especially true when a venue has outdoor events. The cold and wet sap energy from people, creature and customer alike. It was a concern that John and I discussed as we traveled toward The Bone Yard. True, the skies had never truly opened up with a downpour that day but the cumulative mist and drizzle was enough to dampen the overall effect.

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